Improve Your Conversations By Watching Talk Show Hosts

If you want to lea how to be a good conversationalist, a really useful place to start is by watching television!

Not just any television mind you - you can lea a lot about how to have successful conversations by watching talk show hosts!

One of the most important qualities exhibited by good talk show hosts on television that you can easily incorporate into your own conversations is the way they really pay attention to the person they are talking with.

The most successful talk show hosts demonstrate great curiosity in hearing what the person they are interviewing has to say. Even if they aren't really interested in the topic or the person, you would never know it by watching them. They listen intently, and they ask a lot of open-ended questions.

The body language of a good interviewer also reinforces the impression that they are listening with great interest. A good interviewer will lean slightly towards her guest and she will have an interested expression on her face. Her head may be very slightly tilted to the side. By the use of smiles and nods, she will encourage her subject to keep talking.

She will not be gazing around the room, or rolling her eyes, or yawning. Her face will not look blank or bored. Instead her expression will look as if she can't wait to hear what fascinating thing her guest will say next!

Why not lea from the professionals! When you are engaged in conversation with someone else, give that person your full attention. Look at their face while they are talking. Show your interest in what they are saying and keep encouraging them with your smiles, nods, comments and questions.

You may not get your own talk show, but you will gain more friends!

This article is from the new book by Royane Real, titled "How You Can Have All the Friends You Want – Your Complete Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends, and Keeping Friends" If you want to improve your social life, download it today at http://www.royanereal.com

How Team Ferrari Can Accelerate Your Success

Picture the scene:

It's the Monaco Grand Prix and the Ferrari of Michael Schumacher is in pole position. The warm-up lap has been completed and Schumacher revs the engine, waiting for the lights to flash in sequence: Ready. Set. GO!

The race begins. Schumacher uses his supreme skill to drive the car to its limits and successfully overcome the challenges presented by the tricky street circuit.

At each third of the race, the perfect opportunity to bring the car into the pits to maintain maximum advantage is determined. Each time the Ferrari makes a pit stop, an efficient pit crew will get to work. The car will be jacked up. Tires will be changed, fuel will be added, visors cleaned, spot checks made.

All completed within 10 seconds. Each team member performs their duties at lightening speed to ensure no time is wasted so the car can maintain or improve the lead.

And as the race progresses, a team of analysts will act on feedback received from the Ferrari's on-board computers and from the driver. The race strategy will be constantly reviewed and changes will be made if necessary to ensure the car has the best chance of winning the race.

Driver, engineers, mechanics, designers, strategists, technicians – all working together to ensure the car has the best possible chance of victory.

So how can "Team Ferrari" help to accelerate your success?

As you pursue your goals and ambitions, you'll encounter many trying times. You will face challenges, obstacles, sticking points and setbacks. Your motivation levels will drop, you may feel bued out, stressed, frustrated.

At such trying times, you're going to need support to help you "stay in the race". Just like Michael Schumacher, you can't do everything all by yourself and when you face challenges and problems, these are the times when you'll need to go into the pits.

It is so important – no, VITAL – that you can tu to positive, success-minded, enthusiastic people. People who've done something with their lives, who've faced challenges, who know how to overcome fears and obstacles and who can keep you on track to win.

They are the people who we'll refer to as: "TEAM YOU".

Unfortunately, many people who pursue a dream tu to people who live life in fear, who haven't done anything with their lives and who hold a negative view about life.

Guess what happens when you tu to such people when you need support?

You're right! They increase your fears, they focus on the problems, they offer no solutions, in short, they make it harder and harder for you to win your race.

Would Ferrari's pit crew consist of people who want to give up at the first obstacle? People who believe the race is lost before it's started? People who'd retire the car after 10 laps because the race was too hard?

You know Team Ferrari wouldn't have such people anywhere near their car!

So why have negative people in Team You? OK, I know you may find it hard to find like-minded, positive people to create your success team. So here's a technique I use to create my own success team, a team I can rely on when I need to make a pit stop:

Throughout history, there have been many people who have achieved great success and who overcame many major challenges. The help they can give you is priceless. So read about them. Study them. How did they meet their challenges? How did they deal with setbacks? You can find out by reading biographies and autobiographies. Use the Inteet too.

You can read about presidents and ministers, kings and queens, warriors and pacifists, sporting heroes, entertainers, inventors, explorers, tycoons, personal development experts, philosophers and spiritual leaders – whoever you admire, whoever inspires you, whoever excites you, read about them. These are people who've achieved great things. Study them. Lea from them.

These are the people who can join "TEAM YOU". Why not pick the best to help you win your race?

Copyright 2006 Christopher Green

Chris Green is the author of the new book "Conquering Fear", the acclaimed book that shows you how to tu fear, your worst enemy, into your most powerful ally. For a FREE preview, please go to => http://www.conqueringfear.net

Manifest Your Desires Using Natural Hypnosis

Seth, the very high level, spiritual teacher and guide channeled many years ago by Jane Roberts, impressed me with his great wisdom and I started applying his exercises and concepts as soon as I discovered his books. One of the exercises I practiced and loved was his natural hypnosis exercise.

Seth explained how we are our best hypnotist. Natural hypnosis is simply giving ourselves our undivided attention. We have mind chatter anyway, repeating words and phrases over and over again, making it part of our belief system and reality. This is natural hypnosis, nothing mystical about it.

Using natural hypnosis deliberately to manifest what we want is easy to do. We already have much practice doing it unconsciously. Using positive affirmations repeated for a brief period of time is very powerful and works exceptionally well. I've used written and verbal positive affirmations since childhood and I can give numerous examples of how well this works.

Now some of you may be thinking, "I do affirmations all of the time, this isn't anything new!" What's different is the use of a specific period of time - five to ten minutes only - of deliberate focused attention on one affirmation. And forgetting all about it when you are done. It's very concentrated and more powerful than saying or writing affirmations in general.

Seth suggests that we take five to ten minutes each day to focus on one particular statement as vividly as possible. This is a statement or an affirmation we want to see manifest into physical reality. This affirmation must feel comfortable to use -- if it doesn't, change it.

Let's say, for example, you want a new job or career. Your affirmation may be something like, "I now have my ideal job, doing what I love and eaing a great income". You may want to insert an actual income figure in your affirmation. Word it so it feels just right.

I did this one several years ago for a particular job I wanted after graduating from college. Although there wasn't an opening at the company I wanted to work for, I did get the job in an unusual way. In the meantime, I easily and quickly attracted another job that was similar which led me to certain people and circumstances. In a brief period of time, I was able to get my foot in the door of the company I wanted to work for originally. By doing this exercise, I set energies in motion which opened doors and attracted opportunities I was not aware of. I didn't worry how it would play out, I just allowed it to happen. It all worked out even better than I expected.

So decide what affirmation you would like to use and begin. Every time your mind tries to wander, bring it right back to your statement or affirmation, repeating it mentally or out loud, over and over again - for only five to ten minutes (you may want to set a timer). Then forget all about it until the next day when you do this exercise again.

What you have just done is focused attention, natural hypnosis. According to Seth, if you do this exactly as mentioned, in at least three days, you will start to see the results of your intentions. Some may see it sooner. Continue doing the exercise regardless and allow the miracles to happen. Seth explains:

"Inner channels must become repatteed. There will be a feel to this that will serve as your own individual guidline. There is no need to continue the practice over ten minutes. In fact, many will find that difficult to do. Spending a longer period of time simply reinforces the idea of problems involved." [The Nature of Personal Reality by Jane Roberts]

I wish everyone great success using natural hypnosis sessions in this way -- it really works! For other great exercises and techniques by Seth, some of the books I highly recommend by Jane Roberts are Seth Speaks, The Nature of Personal Reality, Dreams and Projections of Consciousness and by Lynda Dahl -- Beyond the Winning Streak: Using Conscious Creaton to Consistently Win at Life and Ten Thousand Whispers: A Guide to Conscious Creation.

© 2005 Chyrene Pendleton

Chyrene Pendleton, Metaphysician, Numerologist, Dowser, teaches several workshops on topics including prosperity and abundance, numerology and dowsing. Her articles have been featured in many mainstream and spiritual jouals over the years and in her free, online Ezine called, The Isle of Light.

Chyrene is the owner of The Isle of Light Inc., a spiritual, metaphysical online spiritual center dedicated to assisting all to become more empowered and enlightened in a wide variety of ways. She is a certified television show producer and co-produced and hosted The Isle of Light television talk show in Denver, Colorado, which continues to air biweekly. Chyrene is also the producer and host of The Isle of Light Inteet radio talk show which airs 24 hours each day at Live365.

Chyrene Pendleton's websites can be found at:

The Isle Of Light http://www.theisleoflight.com

Inteet Radio Talk Show http://www.live365.com/stations/avalon22

Prosperity is a State of Mind http://theisleoflight.blogspot.com

Grab Their Attention

In the movie, "The Player" during a scene at a Hollywood studio executive meeting Mr. Levy shows Reeve, the central character, how to pitch a potential movie story. Levy holds out a newspaper, saying, " Here, read a headline, any headline."

Reeve responds : "Um . . .'Immigrants Protest Budget Cuts in Literacy Program.'"

Levy: "Human spirit overcoming economic adversity. Sounds like Horatio Alger in and the barrio. You put in Jimmy Smits, you got a sexy 'Stand and Deliver.' Next?"

Robert Kosberg, a Hollywood producer convinced a studio to make the 1993 pets -gone-wrong movie "Man's Best Friend." His pitch was "Jaws on Paws".

How quickly can you attract someone's attention and interest? See the power of spare, specific details over speed and volume of speech?

The stories we tell about each other – and the people with whom we want to share our stories are where we create meaning and friendships. As you speak vividly about your experiences with others you make those stories more meaningful and memorable for them to recall and repeat.

You become a more central part of their lives.

Here's some ways to talk and write so other repeat what you say – with pride and joy. Each are easy to practice.

1. Be brief.

If your characterization is sufficiently short then you can repeat it, as an aside or reminder throughout a conversation. Others are more likely to remember and repeat it. Here's some ways to be pithy:

A. Use a familiar word in a new way and you might even capture a trend: Example: Futurist, Faith Popcorm, predicted five years ago that people would want to be "cocooning" in their home.

B. Be catchy, using one or more of these devices:

• Alliteration: "Peak performance" and "high tech/high touch."

• Rhyme: "Jaws on Paws"

• Repetition: "First things first", Steve Covey's advice.

• Puns: Tongue Fu!, title of book by Sam Ho.

C. Employ an unexpected tus of phrase: To connect with people upon first meeting, I suggest "going slow to go fast."

2. Make favorable comparisons with familiar objects

When people in your work world are immersed in their jargon, your remarks can stand out when you make a comparison with a well-liked product, person or situation from outside your profession or industry.

Example: At the high stakes Quist H & Q Healthcare conference, venture capitalists hear 20-minutes talks by CEOs of start-ups and public companies who seek funding or favorable stock analysts' reporters. The tension is high and the schedule is packed. Most presenters speak fast, using a mix of highly technical scientific and finance language. The speaker from bio-tech company, Amgen, walked past the podium to the center of the stage, pulled up one suit and shirt sleeve to bare his raised forearm. He opened his talk, saying, " You will feel the effects of this medical patch faster than it takes a Porsche to go from zero to 90. "

3. Hijack a familiar slogan to use in a new way.

After a company has spent millions to make a slick slogan well-known, twist it in a new direction for your intended meaning. Example: Redwood Hospital in Northe Califoia used this billboard variation of the popualr milk slogan to ask for blood donations: "Got blood?"

4. Anchor your suggestion in a relevent story To pull people into hearing and remembering your view, set it up with a brief anecdote.

Example: What if you wanted to suggest that people were looking at a problem from the wrong perspective? Consider offering this story first: There is an old joke in Soviet Russia about a guard at the factory gate who at the end of every day saw a worker walking out with a wheelbarrow full of straw. Everyday he thoroughly searched the contents of the wheelbarrow, but never found anything but straw. One day he asked the worker: "What do you gain by taking home all that straw?" "The wheelbarrows."

5. Bungle your translation to bring humor

If you are with a worldly group, offer your variation of a well-known expression in a foreign language. Change a single letter and provide a definition for the new expression. Share these rules and your expression with your colleagues and ask for their contribution. New York magazine held such a contest in 2001. Here's some of the winning contributions:

HARLEZ-VOUS FRANCAIS: Can you drive a French motorcycle?
IDIOS AMIGOS: We're wild and crazy guys!
RESPONDEZ S'IL VOUS PLAID: Honk if you're Scottish.
POSH MORTEM: Death styles of the rich and famous.
ALOHA OY: Love; greetings; farewell; from such a pain you would never know.
VISA LA FRANCE: Don't leave your chateau without it.
VENI, VIDI, VELCRO: I came, I saw, I stuck around.
ZITGEIST: The Clearasil doesn't quite cover it up.

6. Veil the truth in humor

So much of life is fast-paced and tense. Consider opening a meeting with mock- serious inspiration or admonition, then grinning. You'll find true life, Dilbert-like examples everywhere that you can keep for your dry humored use.

Here are some of my favorites, gathered by Accountemps one year:

"What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter."

(Lykes Lines Shipping)

"This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it."

(Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)

'We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees."

(Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)

7. Encapsulate a Situation
Offer a vignette that captures an emotion

Example: In late 2002 a book by Jenny Lee will be released, entitled: I Do. I Did, Now What?: One Woman's Musings on Married Life, which the agent characterized thusly (after getting our attention): "a rant that (almost despite itself) ends up as a celebration of marriage."

Financial analyst, Alan Parisse shared this perhaps apocryphal newspaper advertisement with me: "For sale. Infant shoes. Never used."

Kare Anderson is the author of LikeABILITY (see Grand Store at http://www.SayitBetter.com), Make Yourself Memorable and SmartPartnering. A popular speaker on SmartPartnering and on how to be more frequently-quoted to become your kind of customers' top- of-mind choice, she also publishs the SayitBetter newsletter, with 32,000 subscribers in 28 countries

Dichotomy of Preference

This is a wonderful world of duality. The physical world as we know it could not exist and grow, nor could our consciousness expand, without duality. I think this is extraordinary.

Each of us selects the side of the duality that comes into our life by how/where we focus of our attention. We also get to choose the duality itself; that is, we choose the scale or dichotomy or opposites that define the duality. Always, on one end of a scale of duality is one thing/idea and at the other end is either the opposite or the lack of that thing/idea. The naming of the duality can be empowering or disempowering.

In most cultures, we're taught at a very young age to distinguish between "right and wrong" and "good and bad." I have found that these dichotomies are not necessarily paths to happiness. In fact, I often view them as paths to much unhappiness. As I see it, the reason is that such filters often lead to judging others or ourselves when falling into the "wrong" or "bad" side of the scale.

Another dichotomy that is particularly popular these days is "positive and negative." This is a little more helpful in some situations, but leads to some of the same dynamics as described with "right and wrong" and "good and bad."

Any of these scales would be greatly enhanced by adding "for me" or the equivalent at the end, so that we say or think, "this is good for me" or "this is right for my life" or "this feels positive to me." In fact, that addition really does convert all these dichotomies into a similar approach to the the dichotomy of preference that I describe next.

"The dichotomy of preference" is a way of looking at a subject to decide whether or not you prefer it, like it, want it, etc. Is it something you prefer in your life or not? To use this dichotomy in the most empowering way:

* you notice what you prefer, and expand that preference by giving more and more attention to it; and

* you notice what you do not prefer, and minimize that non-preference by giving less and less attention to it.

An Example

I have a friend (I will call her Penelope). She's an acquaintance, really, someone I know in a social setting, and only by her story-telling to the group. I think by nearly everyone's standards she's considered a "positive person." She's upbeat, smart, friendly. She's also beautiful, successful, and interesting.

She wants very much to be married. She's been looking for a partner for more than six years. Many people will have their opinions about why this is so, and they may or may not be correct.

Here is my view of her situation: Penelope gives far more attention to what she does not prefer, does not like, and does not want than to what she prefers or likes or wants. About a specific man, she often says, "I like (this attribute), but I do not like (that attribute)."

She's even warm and friendly when she's talking about what she does not like, often joking to provide entertainment value. Actually, some of her stories are so funny and engaging that even I laugh, although I recognize that this is keeping from her what she most wants in her life. I rarely laugh when people are disempowering themselves, so I can see that she is truly engaging.

Because of Penelope's nature, it's difficult to think of her as being "negative" or "wrong" or "bad," but it's easy to see that she's giving her attention to the opposite of what she prefers (or wants or likes). And when any of us give the Focus of our Attention to what we don't want, we get more of what we don't want. Whatever we give our attention to expands.

Another example of how Penelope makes it more difficult for her partner to come to her is the fact that she counts the days and months and years that she's been experiencing what she does not want. Every holiday is a marker to tell her that yet another (birthday, New Year's Thanksgiving, etc.) is approaching or happening or ending, and still she is not in a relationship.

Now, consider some of your preferences... Are you giving your attention to what you want, like, prefer, and want more of?

Copyright © 2006 Marshall House Jeanie Marshall, Empowerment Consultant and Coach with Marshall House, produces Guided Meditations on CD albums and MP3 downloads and writes extensively on subjects related to personal development and empowerment. Voice of Jeanie Marshall, http://www.jmvoice.com

Living Your Life Based on Inspiration

In our fast-paced society many people are completely overwhelmed and often feel their lives as being empty and meaningless. Every day looks like "Groundhog Day" repeating over and over again the same pattes and you wonder why. In average we are thinking 60,000 thoughts a day, but the real problem is we are repeating the same thoughts thus getting the same results. We are living our lives mostly based on fear and obligation.

In our society we were trained for the "Survival of the Fittest", were told what to think and to live up to the expectations of others around us. Whose life do you live? Did you ever ask that question? The good news is that there is much more to life than we realize in our daily hectic schedule! We are driven by the effects in our outer world which we created in the first place. You probably heard it already: The Law of Attraction. We attract into our lives what we think and feel about all day long. No exception. If your thoughts are focusing all day long on the lack you believe you have that is what you are getting: More lack! The Law of Attraction works and matches your predominant thoughts bringing into your life the things of the same kind of energy your thoughts are. Thoughts become things! You are in control! Unfortunately most of us are always running on autopilot. In other words we are sub-consciously thinking based on our belief-system and our conditioning of the past! Our mind is set up in a way to always recognize pattes and follow them.

A Life based on Inspiration is the total opposite of fear and obligation. It means you live based on Joy and Love. Your whole world around you is going to change once you reached that stage and there will be no more that feeling of emptiness. Why do we feel empty and often lonesome anyway? Because in our belief-system we anchored that we all are separate beings disconnected form each other. That's what we call our "reality", but it is only the effects created by us in the outer world triggering that feeling. By no means are we "disconnected"; in fact we are all connected together and of course we are connected to "Source-Energy", to all that is or in other words to God. It is only the perception we have that leads us into this feeling of being "lonesome".

The fact by itself that you are reading this article is already a sign that you are becoming aware of your connectedness, becoming aware that your life has a purpose to it beyond your imagination. What does Inspiration mean? It means being "In Spirit"! You never lost connection; you are just not tuned in to it. We are all so mind-driven and this chatterbox is making noise all day long telling us what to do, but always form this place of fear and obligation. We must become still to become aware of Inspiration or the voice of your true Self. Your Ego is standing right in your way making you believe that your ego is you. Nothing could be more far away from the truth.

The mystics were teaching all that thousands of years ago already and now it is the first time in the history of mankind that we have access to a science that proves the mystics right! And this science is Quantum Physics. The energy of our thoughts is attracting the very things into our lives we think about. The energy of our thoughts determines whether we are living an inspired life or not.

How could you benefit from a life based in Inspiration instead?

When you are inspired you have access to your true power inside and your mind transcends any limitations. Your Consciousness is expanding beyond measure and you find yourself in a new world. Suddenly your hidden talents and gifts, which make you so unique, become alive. You discover that you are by far a greater person than your ego allowed you to be and that you ever dreamt of. You will find that you are OK the way you are, because you are already the most beautiful version of yourself you possibly can imagine.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said: We are very near to greatness: one step and we are safe; can we not take the leap?"

Sure you can take that leap, it only requires that you make this conscious choice to personally grow and expand yourself to the greatness you truly are.

Walter H. Groth founded the Institute for Life and Career Transition http://www.truelifepurpose.com with offices in Laguna Beach and Munich. We specialize in Teaching and Coaching Businesses and Individuals the Power of Personal Growth and how to leverage this with a "Life-Strategy" and down to earth steps and actions to take to reach your goals. Your success in Life and Business can only grow to the degree you personally grow!

If you believe also have a lot more potential than your real world success shows, please contact us info@truelifepurpose.com and we will be happy to explain our process to you.

Check it out =>http://www.truelifepurpose.com

Money Is Enough Good Enough

How are you doing financially? Are you making enough money?

Chances are you'll answer that you're doing okay. You generally have enough money to put food on the table and pay the bills, and maybe even save a bit for a holiday or rainy day. But why settle for enough?

Do you know what enough means?

It means JUST enough for what you need. No surplus. None left over. No extra. Can't be any clearer than that.

I've always had enough to do whatever I've wanted. But even though I had enough, often I still didn't do what I'd have liked because then I'd have had less money left. I was looking at my abundance in the wrong way. I was actually keeping myself at the 'having just a bit more than enough level' and doing okay.

So do you want to do better than okay?

If the answer's 'no, I'm fine' then that's fine too, but I'm wondering why you are reading this. Most people aspire to having more money than what they've got. Heck even the wealthy want more of it. The only difference is they don't hope for more money as desperately as the people with just enough or not quite enough.

In truth you can never have too much money. If you do get too much money, heck it's easy enough to give away isn't it?

The world is flooded with many trillions of dollars worth of money that circulates every day. There is more than enough for everyone. If it was all evenly redistributed there'd be enough for every man, woman and child to be a multi-millionaire!

For most people just ONE paltry million dollars would be plenty for them to live a life of ease for the rest of their life.

With so much money available in the world it's almost inconceivable that over 97% of it is in the hands of less than 3% of the people on the planet.

How can this be so?

We might come up with lots of reasons why some have so much and yet many have so little but there's really only one answer at the very root of it.

That is, those few BELIEVE the abundance is there.

What's that you say? You believe it too. Then why haven't you got a bigger share if it? I said I believed it too for years yet I only ever had just a bit more than enough. See the problem is we can easily say we believe in abundance because we'd really like to believe in it but the truth is we don't.

Somewhere deep in our unconscious minds there is a (false) belief that contradicts what we say we believe.

We say we believe that money is abundant and wealth is rightfully ours (and it is). But we don't really believe it.

Most of our real beliefs are unconscious and every day our autopilot uses them as the programming for our actions. We are totally unaware of it.

So if we really don't believe that money is abundant we cannot help but act accordingly. That is, we fret over yet another expense, rising prices, and people ripping us off; we baulk at giving those extra dollars to the charity collector; we choose items on the basis of price rather than value; we cut down on our gifts to others and so forth.

The abundance of money (and other things such as love and happiness) which is there will only come to us when we really believe money is abundant. Now before you can change your old ideas to the new beliefs of course, you have to first believe that your real beliefs are:

1. unconscious
2. false
3. holding you back

Then and only then can more of the abundance be yours. I'll give you a chance to mull this over before providing some ideas on how to change old beliefs.

Feel free to reprint this article in its entirety in your ezine or on your site, as long as you do not modify the content and you include the resource box as listed below.

Al Beikoff is a teacher, investor and writer whose newsletter, Money Ideas, focuses on the thoughts and ideas we harbor about money. His tips, strategies and ideas on changing our thinking will help you change your world financially and in other ways. Subscribe to his ezine at http://www.best-offshore.com or contact him at alwyn@best-offshore.com

How You Can Get Anything You Want In Life In 68 Seconds

Let's keep this simple. As simple as can be. What do you want?

More money? A new house? A nice luxury car? A holiday in France? A new boyfriend or girlfriend? An athletic body? Whatever it is, it is a physical result, is it not? Physicality.

Why? For what feeling? So you can feel secure? Happy? Fulfilled? Whatever the reason is, it so that you can feel good, feel free, and experience satisfaction of some kind. It is to enjoy your self one way or the other. Feeling.

So how do you get whatever it is that you want in your life, easily? Here is the formula for all creation of one's reality. And trust me; it is as easy as you make it to be. If you complicate it, it gets complicated to that degree. If you keep it as simple as it is, it becomes a seeming miracle, simple yet profoundly powerful, a sign of mastery.

And now, the formula:

Step 1: Ask

How do you ask and who do you ask it to? You don't have to address your asking to anything or anyone or any deity. The asking is simply your desire and how you feel about it. It is automatic and natural. All you have to do is to be clear on what you want, as clear as you can be. Don't bother about how you will achieve your desire - the way will show up step by step automatically. Just be clear only on the end result, not necessarily on the way to get there. What is the end result you desire, exactly? Imagine it has already happened.

Also, forget about what you don't want. Here is why: whatever you are putting your attention on is what is being asked for. Where your attention is indicates what it is you are asking. How it is that you are feeling indicates what it is that you are asking. Your attention and feeling will show you, predictably, what it is you are creating in the future and how it will feel like when you get it.

Step 2: The Universe Answers

At conception, we are all 90% water. You probably know how to have sex. But do you know how to put together a baby from water and all the other elements of nature? No! no scientist in this world today can go grab some water and so on, and put together babies. Yet we make them without knowing how!

Here is the magic of the universe. The universe is always expanding, always and in all ways. Eteity and infinity. It expands as a function of answering all the desires of all parts of it (even your individual cells ask through their natural preferences for health, nutrition, bliss, and so on).

Did you know that there are many Nobel Laureate quantum physicists that have proven without doubt that the act of observing is what creates that which is being observed? In other words, without doubt, you see what you believe. You create your reality. What you intend to observe is what the universe creates in your experience.

This has been proven by quantum physicists many times over the last few decades. If you would like to explore this in more detail, have a look at the eBook A Happy Pocket Full of Money from www.imagesofone.com.

Literally, scientifically, the universe creates your desire. It handles the "how". So the more you let go and allow life to unfold as it does, the faster you let creation happen for you. Let go of the how, so that you can allow it to come to you in the fastest way possible, including ways you would never have thought about. If you insist on the how, you block other pathways and possibilities. Also, let go of the need, of the anxiety, insecurity, shame, guilt, or whatever, because these feelings only create. Let go inteally and exteally.

Step 3: Receive

This is the final step and the one that most people seem to mess up. You must receive. Reception is very much like the way a radio receives its channels. It tunes into the channel. The radio must match itself to the broadcast frequency for you to receive any music from it.

In the same way, you must match yourself to that which you asked for so that you may see it appear in your life and experience it. This is the key. And there are two parts to it:

First and most importantly, match your feelings. How would it feel to have that which you asked for? Feel that now. How would it feel to drive that amazing car or have that amazing partner or that amazing business? Feel that now. Feel good. When you feel fear, anxiety, despair, and so on, you are not in alignment.

Secondly, act on inspiration and "coincidences". You will notice opportunities cropping up in your days. Take them. If you meet someone who somehow mentions something to do with what you are seeking, follow that clue. If you feel the urge to make a phone call or visit a place, do that. It may take one step or a thousand, and you won't always know how far down the road you have come, but you are guaranteed to get there if you keep taking one step at a time.

So what is the 68 seconds all about? Well, we now know that if you hold a thought for 68 seconds, it begins to materialize into form. It is that simple.

The materials of Abraham by Jerry and Ester Hicks also expand on this simple formula, for those of you who wish to investigate it further. The eBook A Happy Pocket Full of Money from www.imagesofone.com goes into the actual way that the universe goes about creating your reality and more.

Life is a miracle. When you are not experiencing miracles, you are probably struggling up the hard way to get things done. Share this knowledge with others and talk about it; grow it within your friends. As you do, test it. Test it over and over again in all areas of your life, perhaps with the small things first. And as you do, you will notice more evidence of it, and as you practice you will become better at using it and creating a life of miracles as the norm. Forward this article to as many people as you can, then invite them to a discussion. The fastest way to grow in this wisdom is to create your own mastermind of miracles!

David Cameron Gikandi is the author of wealth and self development books such as A Happy Pocket Full of Money, showing many how to create the lives of their dreams and beyond. Download free trial ebooks, software, courses. http://www.imagesofone.com/?c=a

My Assignment If You Didn t Create It Then It s Not Yours

Life consists of lessons. Living is continual leaing. Therefore, if you take on someone else's issues and responsibilities, or lessons, would that not be classified as cheating? Are you not cheating yourself out of your own life? Are you not cheating others out of their own lessons?

At one time or another, we all get involved with someone else's issues. These issues can include family issues, life change, minimal conundrums, or anything that can somehow challenge the foundations and beliefs of an individual. However, we must be able to identify when we are providing assistance and when we are accepting responsibility for someone else.

--- Helping vs. Hindering ---

Of course, there are times when it is essential, for our well-being and for those we love, that we must set aside our own lives to ensure the comfort of a loved one. In this situation, for example, I am speaking of a loved one who is incapable of caring for themselves. In these cases, it is our desire and obligation as human beings to be there and care for them as we are not only helping our loved ones, but we are also growing within ourselves.

However, there is a limit that we, as humans, are expected to give up our lives and directions for another. These cases primarily involve the absorption of responsibility for another person who is unwilling to take care of their own issues. It is in such a situation that we must all lea how to back away and allow the others to handle their own problems and lea their own lessons.

--- Please … do this for me!!! ---

It is a natural human response to lend a hand to someone in need. It is fulfilling to know that you are helping someone, especially if you've been through a similar situation and you know all of the answers.

But, do you really know all of the answers? You may have experienced a similar situation; however, your perspective and, therefore, your lessons were different. By taking on the issue for yourself and solving the problems of others, you are actually robbing them of lessons that they need to lea for themselves and grow in their own way.

Also, realize that people live their own karma. When they are experiencing various issues in their lives, they are more than happy to include others into the drama or give the issue to someone else to handle. This is because they are walking into an area of the unknown outside of their safety zone. By taking responsibility to resolve their issues for them, you are also accepting responsibility for the success or failure of the issue. Over time you will lose yourself in the expectations of others and eventually become the whipping post for everyone that knows that you will do the 'dirty work' for them.

Finally, you're giving up a time of your own life to deal with someone else's issues when, in fact, you could be using that time to move forward in your own life. But, in many cases, people take over other people's issues when they feel the need to become emotionally stimulated and there isn't enough going on in their own life to stimulate themselves. Perhaps you need more involvement in things that make a difference in your own life. Such stimulation can occur through setting a plan and having a vision set for your life. Without one, we seek out other forms of stimulation to fill the voids in our own lives.

I'm not saying that you should ignore the needs of others on this planet. Such a view would be arrogant, harsh, and inhumane. You should always be aware of the needs of others. However, 'being aware of' and 'being responsible for' the needs of others are two completely different things. It is important to respect the needs of others and allow them the opportunity to fulfill their needs. However, you cannot take responsibility for anyone else's needs. If they are capable of handling their own lives, then they should take the reins and do so.

--- It's all your fault!!! ---

You have to realize that, if someone else makes an error and throws it into your court, they are expecting you to handle it. Many times, people will blame you for their own issues, also known as 'projection', because they don't know how to handle them. But, your best approach is simply to 'throw it back'. It is actually their own responsibility to resolve the issues and your responsibility is merely to watch your own area of influence and ensure that their issue does not affect you.

With such situations, don't fall into 'playing games', which can last for weeks, months, and even years. By toying with games, you're literally wasting your time with someone else's issues while you could be focusing on things of importance to your own life. Ignoring their claims will only create more turmoil on their side that they will have to eventually handle. Consider it a form of voodoo. If you don't believe it in, it can't harm you.

If you see this person as a friend, and you lose this person as a friend because of the situation, then so be it. There's more to life than being drug into a hole because of someone else's inability to handle their own issues. Allow them a chance to lea on their own. Not only will they be a better person for it, but you will be a better friend in the long run.

--- How do I know the difference? ---

If you allow other's issues, whether they affect you or not, to engulf your life, then you are allowing your life to be controlled by other people and situations. Eventually, your life will belong to everyone else and you can no longer move forward to your own vision because your life is cluttered with everyone else's issues. You must lea to evaluate the issues and lea, more importantly, how to be human without providing your soul as a door mat.

One of the side effects of taking on the world's issues is that many people can eventually feel as though they are overwhelmed, beaten, or carrying a huge load on their shoulders. Their 'load' comes from taking on too many unnecessary issues that actually belong to someone else just to fill in the voids in their own lives.

The best way to determine if you are busily taking on the world's problems and not focusing on your own life is to make a list of the many issues with which you are faced at this moment in time. For each issue note:

1. Where did this issue come from?

   Was it you or someone else that initiated the issue? You need to figure out whom or what actually started the issue and what made it seem of importance to you in your life. If it was initiated by someone else, why did you seem to find it important?

2. What are the details of the issue?

   When examining their own issues, most people have no idea why they're even engaged in certain issues. It seems as though they know where it came from and they know where it's going, but they have no idea why they're even doing anything about the issue. If you don't know what the issue is about, then perhaps there is no real reason for the issue in the first place so, why are you dealing with it?

3. How does the issue affect your life?

   If you can come up with at least five important aspects of your life affected by the issue in a positive way, then indeed, it is an important issue. But, if there are no real affects, then you need to reevaluate the situation. If a given issue does not directly affect your life and the quality thereof, then why are you dealing with the issue?

4. What is the status of resolution for the issue?

   Does the issue seem to sag and hang without any real forward momentum? If you don't feel as though the issue is moving forward toward a resolution then you need to stop and see if indeed there is a viable resolution. Perhaps you've simply been caught in a vortex where one issue begets another and another and another. This is a situation where you are searching for problems to solve when, indeed, there are no 'real' problems. This is a common pitfall and one that you should simply step out of as, indeed, there is no resolution.

5. Who is involved and how?

   Who is involved in the situation and why are they involved? Are you in control of the progress or is someone else 'managing' the issue and its progress? If someone else is 'managing' the progress, then shouldn't this other person be completely in control of the situation? Perhaps you should simply give them the issue to deal with on their own.

6. What else could I be doing?

   If you're working with a situation that seems useless, then why are you doing it? If you're working to resolve a situation from the past so that you can feel better about yourself in the now, why not work on something that can benefit you in the now and make you feel better about yourself in the future? The past is gone, let it go. Shoot for the future!

7. What is my ultimate vision in my life?

   Everyone must have a vision for their life. What's yours? If you have one, then how does this issue relate to the success of your attainment of this vision? If you don't have one, then you need to find out how this situation relates to your life and devise a vision for your life.

--- What's Next? ---

Stick to what's important and let the rest fall aside. There is no shame in dropping trivial situations that are of no use and are at a dead-end. Don't feel guilty about pushing other people's issues out of your life. You're not shirking responsibility. You're simply claiming your own life.

You have just as much right to live your life as everyone else. You will encounter issues that you must overcome just as everyone else will throughout their lives. But, while you're dealing with other people's problems, what are they doing? They're living their life because you were so kind to alleviate them of their pressures.

The point is that, if you're not careful, these issues can block your paths moving forward. Ultimately, you remain stuck in the past because you're unable to find a solution. Your best solution is to cut it out of your life and continue moving toward your vision. Make your own path, fix your own mistakes, and take responsibility for your own future. Not only will you find that the load slowly lifts from your back, but you'll see a much brighter future in a life that you own and control for yourself.

About The Author

Edward B. Toupin is a published author, technical writer, web developer, coach, and producer living in "The Entertainment Capital of the World," Las Vegas, NV. One of his primary objectives in his work is to provide information to help others achieve fulfilling lives. Visit his site at http://www.make-life-great.com and http://www.toupin.com or contact him at etoupin@toupin.com or lifementor@toupin.com for more information.

How to Take Responsibility

The key to happiness is taking full responsibility for us and our life.

I have worked with many clients who have experienced abuse in one form or the other in their lives and there are 2 common factors they experience: they all have a sense of anger, associated with a sense of powerlessness, and they struggle to take full responsibility and be happy.

Ok, now I hear some people who might say:" They are not taking responsibility for their lives", or "They only do self-pity".

No, no, no, I do not agree with that, I will never accept people blame others.

There is always a reason why people do things, and in my experience sometimes people are not able to take responsibility or they do not know what exactly responsibility is.

Ok, so what is responsibility?

It is not something heavy on our shoulders; it is very simple and very empowering.

It is taking back our power of making choices for everything in our life.

It is acknowledging that we have created everything in our life through choices, whether conscious or unconscious ones; and also not making choices is a choice in itself, so we have really created everything.

That is to say that if we have created everything, we can change everything, if we want to.

Example, if I am angry, I can say:" I have created this anger, so I can change it."

How empowering is that?

Taking responsibility is also acknowledging past or present behaviours, very simply, and deciding what to do about them.

So, taking responsibility is:

• deciding what we do in our lives and with ourselves, organizing our lives, deciding what we want, being excited in creating our lives

• knowing that we can handle anything we encounter, and this implies a high level of self-esteem

• knowing that we need to respect ourselves first

• knowing that we also need to protect ourselves a little

And also how about taking pride in having full responsibility and thanking yourself for having taken full responsibility?

This will help you to feel good and keep taking responsibility.

In particular for people who have experienced abuse, the way to let go of the anger and take responsibility is by developing a belief which says:"No matter how other people are, they are outside me, I organize and live my life and enjoy it."

And so taking responsibility is like owning ourselves and our life, but it is more, it is response-ability, it is the capacity to respond to anything we encounter in our lives.

That is to say that we have the capacity to choose how we respond to events, situation, people, we have that power.

And how do we do that?

We can choose the meaning we give to events, situation, people, we can choose a meaning that is empowering, that allows us to move forward and grow.

And we can choose how we talk to ourselves; we can choose how we communicate with ourselves, because personal response-ability is also that.

How do you choose to talk to yourself?

Copyright Piercarla Garusi 2006. All rights reserved.

Piercarla Garusi is a Life Coach & NLP Practitioner and Director of PG Coaching Ltd. She helps professionals, expatriates, charities, improve dramatically the quality of their lives and create extraordinary lives. She is also running a coaching programme to help people overcome their social anxiety. For free coaching mini-courses- Unleash Your Potential: Become Who You Really Are! and Be Your Own Life Coach!, as well as free newsletters, please visit: http://www.pgcoaching.co.uk Contacts: +44 020 8995 0264, info@pgcoaching.co.uk.

PG Coaching Ltd© Our mission is to help each person discover and be the extraordinary person they are, empower them to be free from anything that is preventing them to be the best they can be, achieve an outstanding quality of life and wellbeing, create the extraordinary life they want and live everyday with passion.

Create an Extraordinary Life!

Muscles Don t Push

When I was in chiropractic school, I had a teacher who liked to impress one point on our fertile, young minds. He repeated it over and over and reminded us of this fact every time the subject matter allowed.

The point was this: Muscles don't push. They can't.

Physical Muscle Only Pulls. Muscles can only pull. All a muscle can actively do is shorten. That's how all the intricate motions of ballet and kung fu and mountain climbing are done: by muscles getting shorter and moving the bones they are partnered with. They can only pull. They can't push.

Universal Muscle Only Attracts. Some years later I found myself at an Abraham* workshop. It was in Abraham's message that I realized that our muscles, even the tiniest human muscle, hardly more than a millimeter long, all these muscles, large and small, carry in their function and morphology a huge universal principle.

Our human anatomy reflects a lesson that, when leaed, can change your life. Abraham teaches us that there is no such thing as exclusion, only inclusion. That means the muscle of the Universe can only pull things toward you. It can't push things away from you. Every time you try to push something away from you, you simply draw it to you by your attention to it.

Although Abraham doesn't talk about muscle, they teach us well about Law of Attraction. And Law of Attraction acts as the muscle of the universe. It moves things.

And it moves things toward each other. Not just anything. It moves things of a like vibration toward each other. If you could get a cosmic view of the swirling movement, it might appear that some things are moving away from each other, but that's because they are moving toward something else.

The universe does not push. And so it makes perfect sense that our muscles don't push either. We match universal law and our genius bodies illustrate the principle brilliantly.

No pushing here.

"Pushing" Logic. Of course, you can push a baby stroller. Doors are labeled "pull" and "push" and we have no trouble doing either. You can even push a car if you have to.

But pushing is an illusion. It results from a specific combination of pulls. No one muscle can push the door open.

We are often tempted to push against the things we don't want. We think that if we fight against something, it will go away. And sometimes it seems very logical that if we push hard enough against something that it will go away.

That's why even some of us who are long-time Abraham students can still find ourselves ignoring what we've been taught about Law of Attraction. We can still find ourselves pushing against the things we don't want. And once we get pushing, we push harder and harder.

When we look at our own anatomy and see this beautiful no-push principle reflected in our muscles, it brings it home. You can only pull. And yet, by cooking up a recipe of a variety of pulls, you either bring things toward you or you create the effect of things moving away from you.

But in a universe of attraction and in a body of muscle, the only way to have things move away from you is by bringing something else toward you.

How Things Move Away From You. Let's break this down into two groups.

1. First, there are the things you don't want in your life. These are the things you are trying to push away.

These undesirables may include your friend's irritating attitude, your pile of unpaid bills, the aches and pains in your body or anything else that you don't want in your experience. Your logic may be telling you that by "pushing" against it, it will go away.

Law of Attraction is telling you that by giving your attention to it, you are drawing it and more things like it, to you.

Here you have the feeling that you are moving things away from you, but by Law of Attraction, you are really bringing them closer.

2. And then, there are the things you do want in your life. You want these to move toward you and yet, they may seem to be moving away from you.

These desirables include all the wonderful people, things and situations you want to draw into your experience. But you may have noticed that some of them are not in your experience. You may even have your thoughts focused in such a way that you feel fear, worry, frustration or some other kind of upset about the things you desire because they are not in your experience.

This creates the effect of the things you want moving away from you. But that's not really what is happening. Remember, the muscle of the universe only attracts.

Big Muscle, Little Muscle. You can use this hidden relationship between Law of Attraction and your very own muscle to create your life in a way that brings you more joy.

First, remember that Law of Attraction is bringing to you things that match how you vibrate. To expand your understanding of yourself as a vibrational being and to deepen your awareness of Law of Attraction, you can refer to the teachings of Abraham.*

Second, remember that your muscles can actively only pull things toward you. Now let's put this all together and make it work for you.

How to Use Your Muscles.

Here's the trick that will shift how you're attracting. Spend more time engaging your muscles with things you want to bring toward you than with things you want to push away from you.

How simple!

Let's apply this to both examples.

1. If there is something that you do not want, do not engage your muscles with that thing. Do not use your leg muscles to walk toward it. Do not use your face and head muscles to face it, look at it and talk about it. Do not use your arm and hand muscles to reach out to touch it. Find something you want in your experience and engage your muscles with that.

2. If there is something you want but it isn't yet part of your experience, use your leg muscles to take you to places where you can get the feeling of the thing you desire.

Use your face muscles to talk about how good you will feel when this thing you want arrives.

Use every muscle you can to prepare yourself to receive the thing you desire when it comes to you. Now you have lined up your personal muscle with the muscle of the universe and you have a mighty partner.

This simple physical practice can shift your manifestation exponentially.

*Gratitude to Jerry and Esther Hicks and Abraham. Visit www.abraham-hicks.com

© Rebbie Straubing

You can receive Dr. Rebbie Straubing's Free e-Course, "7 Secrets for Manifesting Your Heart's Desire," at http://www.yofa.net

Rebbie is a workshop leader, Abraham Coach, and writer.

To find or harmonize a relationship, visit http://www.GreatRelationships.net

Increase your awareness of Divine Love and begin a meditation practice in 3 minutes at the Affirmative Contemplation website, http://www.AffirmativeContemplation.com

Millionaire Mindset We Become What We Think About

In studying wealth, we lea the power of using our mind to attract either success or failure. By visualizing what we want to happen - or conversely what we fear will happen - we employ a mental magnet that helps to manifest our thoughts. To get rich, the first step is to make sure you have a millionaire mindset."

Many wealth counselors stress the importance of positive thinking— and we agree with them. Whether thoughts of poverty or wealth, you can be sure that your "magnet" is working perfectly. The results of your present thinking will soon be seen. If you have a millionaire mindset, those results will probably be everything you've hoped for.

In The Psychology of Achievement, success trainer Brian Tracy has distilled the essence of Napolean Hill's classic advice in Think and Grow Rich with this concept articulated as well as we have yet seen:

"Any thought, plan, goal, or idea, held continuously in our conscious mind must bebrought about into reality by the Super Conscious Mind… Do you have the discipline, the control, the perseverance, the persistence, and determination to hold your goal or ambition clearly in your mind long enough for it to come about into reality? This is one of the most important summaries of the Laws of Success that you will ever identify."

What's on your mind today?

In addition to concepts like the Millionaire Mindset, wizardZofwealth.com offers people of all income levels wealth-building strategies in the areas of small business, entrepreneurship, self development, personal finance, trading, and investing. The site's exclusive Wealth Notes presentation style makes leaing easy for people seeking financial independence.

How Are You Inventing Your Life Today

"Organisms do not experience environments, they create them."
-- From A Simpler Way, by Margaret Wheatley

Walking down Lincoln Avenue in Portsmouth, I am struck by the beauty of the day – forsythia, tulips and daffodils, bright sun, warm breeze – and the freedom and privilege I have to walk in a healthy body, through a friendly neighborhood, of my own volition. I think about how much I take for granted, and how easy it is to feel centered and content when life is easy, flowing, and conflict free.

The day before was not so. It was rainy, windy, and cold. I hadn't slept and woke up short-tempered and irritable. (Will winter never end?!) A project I'd been putting off could not be postponed any longer, and I knew I had to finish it even though I had no inspiration for it. My body ached from hard aikido practice the night before, and I felt tired and lacked energy. I opened a window and spilled a potted plant all over my office floor. And the last piece of my favorite toasting bread had mysteriously disappeared from its storage place. Tomorrow – who knows? As my friend Carol says, life can fall on your head at any moment.

So how do I walk my talk, change my attitude, adjust my goals, and reinvent my life even when I don't feel like it? I kept thinking: You can do this, this is great, exactly what you look for – ideal opportunities to practice . . . center, breathe, laugh. Sure, it's easy to be centered when things are going your way. This is the perfect day to practice – when they aren't.

I'm embarrassed to say that it was still hard. The only good news that I was able to give myself was that I noticed. I could see I was having a "pity party," which was a step in the right direction. Friend and colleague, Joy Jacobs, calls this ability to step outside our selves and acknowledge our reactions meta-communication. My meta-communicator is the role that says, Hey, Judy, you're really having a strong reaction to that plant falling over. Whoah! Are you sure you want to throw it through the window? Right, probably not.

The meta-communicator is the insulation between my reaction and my response. It keeps me from getting dragged down an emotionally reactive path that I will probably regret. The ability to meta-communicate is a sign of emotional intelligence, analogous to self-awareness, and essential to self-control. Without the ability to meta-communicate, I get lost in the emotion and identify with it. There is no distance, no separation between me and my mental state; the attitude, emotion, or mood overrides conscious thought and takes me wherever it wants. I can only talk about the emotion again (like this) when it's played itself out and I regain the ability to see it.

Centering awakens the meta-communicator. Taking a moment of literal and figurative inspiration – breathing and connecting to my power source – gives me the time and the space to decide if I want to get dragged off or not.

Pity parties are fun sometimes. I can enjoy getting together telephonically or in person with special friends. We dress up in our best long-suffering attitudes and moan about this event or that person, how much work there is to do and how little time. We bring our meta-communicators along, and we laugh at ourselves in the midst of our complaining. It's a lot more fun to whine with awareness.

His Holiness the Dalai Lama said, "If you don't like what's happening in your life, change your mind." How do you like what's happening in your life at the moment? I realize it may be a lot more challenging than winter weather in May. Still, gently experiment with changing your relationship to life events, and see what happens.

When I am willing and able to do this, to change my mind, everything changes. It begins by noticing my reactive state.
I'm upset.
Okay - Upset Energy. How can I use it in a way that's congruent with my values and vision?
I take charge of it, before it takes charge of me.
I begin to travel a path of power and presence, instead of a path of reactivity and regret.

As I place that bit of padding between my reaction and my response, I reclaim my power. I reconnect with what is really important. Why am I here? What do I want to contribute to this workplace, this family unit, this relationship? What are my hopes for this conversation? How will I impact this meeting?

More sunny days and uplifting moments are on the horizon. But whatever the exteal or inteal weather conditions, I am protected by an inner spring of insight that is always awake, aware, and available to be tued on at any moment. And I remember all that I have to be grateful for, including the privilege of having unsettling emotions.

How are you inventing your life today, this moment? Is life a struggle, or does it flow? It's possible that the answers are really up to you.

© 2005 Judy Ringer, Power & Presence Training

About the Author: Judy Ringer is Founder of Power & Presence Training, specializing in unique workshops on conflict, communication, and creating a more positive work environment. Judy is also a black belt in aikido, and is writing her first book on the connection between aikido, conflict, and living a more purposeful life. To sign up for more free tips and articles like these, visit http://www.JudyRinger.com

Note: You're welcome to reprint this article as long as it remains complete and unaltered (including the 'about the author' info at the end).

How to Tame the Destructive Ego

Polly's story

Polly had a four year old child who nearly every day would scream at her: "I want to kill you!"

Polly tried her best to keep her cool but predictably, the point was soon reached when she would feel herself almost bursting with rage every time she heard the offensive words.

One day when he said them, she locked the child in his room for an hour. He yelled his lungs out all the while, but it didn't stop him from later saying the same thing again.

Another day, Polly poured black pepper on the kid's tongue, and another time she tried washing his mouth out with soap. All these "remedies" may have helped her little son understand who the "boss" was, but for all that, he went on informing her regularly, in a nasty tone, that he wanted to kill her.

In desperation, Polly phoned up a friend who was already an experienced mother and asked her what she would do in such circumstances.

"As the oldest of three children, he probably feels left out of things," advised the friend. "I would say he's not hateful, he's just in pain. Don't respond to the words. Only respond to the pain."

The next day, true to form, the little chap shouted out the four dreaded words.

Acting on her friends advice, Polly hugged him, smiled and said: "Even if you want to kill me, I love you more than anything in the world."

Once the boy had recovered from the unexpected "shock" and the atmosphere was calmer, Polly tried to find out what was bothering him. That was the last time he ever uttered those words, or anything similar.

If you're like most people, you react almost every day to situations you perceive to be threatening in much the same way that Polly would respond to her little one's painful verbal jabs - only to get nowhere for your trouble!

Credit card blues

Let's say that a man gets really hot under the collar while checking the family credit card statement, after noticing that his wife had bought some big ticket items without his knowledge.

If she decides to give in to her first impulse, the lady might well yell back at him: "You old skinflint!" (or an even less flattering "compliment") and continue: "What's the matter with you? Aren't I entitled to a few decent clothes like any other woman?"

Alteatively, she resist the temptation of an impulsive response, calm down a little and say: "You're right. Neither of us should make a purchase without first consulting the other. You know, I'm really sorry. I didn't intend to hurt you."

And hopefully, that's the end of the incident.

(Note that I'm not talking about abusive personalities - emotionally disturbed souls who will continue to insult and manipulate you no matter how gently you respond to them. With such people, you're probably better off keeping your distance. Here, though, we're presumably dealing with a rational, well disposed gentleman, just feeling the stress of having to be continually vigilant in the ongoing struggle to balance the family budget.)

Martha vs. Sid

Martha was an idealistic young lady young lady who lived more for other people than for herself. In fact, one of the reasons why she was attracted to Sid, the man who was to become her husband, was that for many years he had been very involved in community activism and welfare work in his spare time.

In the first weeks and months of marriage, she was apparently quite surprised to see some major changes in Sid's after-work routine. Very understandably - at least, many people would have thought so - he cut back sharply on his community volunteering in order to spend time with his new wife.

Martha, for her part, was flattered enough by his attention and grateful for his devoted help around the house. Unfortunately, her pleasure was marred by an inner conflict: what she had wanted in a husband was a sort of public hero - a man whose life revolved around his community, not around his hearth and home!

Martha tried to persuade him to retu to his communal endeavors. This only served to alienate him, since took it as a sign that Martha didn't really appreciate all the attention he was showering upon her.

Eventually, Martha also tued to an older and more experienced friend for advice.

"Lay off! Leave the poor man alone," counseled her friend. "Concentrate on improving yourself, not him. Work every day on refining and perfecting your character traits. And in particular, always try to think of new things you could be doing for your husband - things that will make him a little happier, his life that much easier..."

From that day on, her marriage went from strength to strength.

Now, what do Martha, Polly and the lady whose husband didn't like her spending habits all have in common?

Who's in control?

If you think about it, it boils down to this: each of them controlled their Ego!

They subdued it, they haessed it, they molded it to their advantage. Each of them had their own inner struggle, certainly. But ultimately, they did not allow the Ego to control them. Absolutely not!

It's a well known fact that when a person senses danger, the body pumps out stress hormones such as adrenaline. Adrenaline then cause the system to release fat into the bloodstream, which provides the extra energy the person needs to fight off the danger.

It's also well known that when a person gets angry, the body receives a false signal and starts producing adrenaline even in the absence of real danger. If this happens often enough, it can cause irreversible harm to the body.

The fascinating thing is that this patte of events operates not only on the physical level. When you smell danger around the coer but none, in fact, exists, and you start to panic for no good reason, you unwittingly inflict on yourself real damage on the emotional plane as well.

And, as if the personal damage isn't bad enough, sometimes your relationship with someone close to you somehow gets caught up in the firing line.

Let's say you're standing in line at the supermarket checkout when somebody behind pushes you aside and strides up to the cashier. His very act of queue jumping is a red light for you and you get hopping mad. But before your blood pressure has even had time to rise, the offender has already finished his transaction and you're free to proceed.

You stop to think. "Hey, my body and my emotions have just taken a terrible pounding, but why? Was I in any type of danger? No, it appears not. Then why the heck did I get so hot under the collar?

"On second thoughts, though, there was a part of me that came under threat. But which part? Only my Ego, actually.....And for the sake of a bruised Ego I'm willing to get so excited over an inconsequential delay of precisely eighteen seconds?"

It's only your Ego that's hurt when you pass an acquaintance in the street and she retus your greeting with a blank stare. It's only your Ego that's hurt when a clerk at a govement office yells at you for not bringing the right forms.

It's only your Ego that's hurt when you do something beyond the normal line of duty at the office, but nobody seems to appreciate it. And it's only your Ego that's hurt when you go out of your way to prepare something special for dinner, but as far as you know, your family don't even notice it.

Once you have leaed to distinguish between real danger and mere ego-danger, you will have the key in your hands for vanquishing the troublesome Ego and confining it to its proper place for ever.

Azriel Winnett is creator of Hodu.com - Your Communication Skills Portal. This popular website helps you improve your communication and relationship skills in your business or professional life, in the family unit and on the social scene. New articles added almost daily.

Limited Thought Limited Experience

I was reminded once again the other day about how well we limit ourselves and take on the values of others and their limitations.

I was in one of our moing sales meetings and just barely awake trying to concentrate on other things. The boss was ranting and raving about how few cancellations the sales force was getting. He was calling upon the team to push a little harder and get more cancellations. He was suggesting that a good sales team will have at least 15% sales cancellations (It may have been another figure but I was ignoring it for the most part). But from where I was sitting I couldn't help but shake my head and I couldn't resist butting in and saying that I would rather have 100% closing and no cancellations. He conceded, but added that this was not a perfect world.

For the most part, the whole world seems to agree with him, it's not a perfect world. It would seem that most people have that common belief.

I disagree 100%. I know that the world is perfect that way it is and the above point of global thinking proves my point. Most people think the world is not perfect and that is what they have created, the perfect 'imperfect world.'

All of us including myself at one time have agreed with the notion that we are lacking in imperfection. Where did that thought come from, why are we not perfect in most people's minds?

It comes from the illusion of separation that we believe in. We know the creator as perfect, yet because we believe we are separated from that perfection we see ourselves as something less. And, that less than perfect status is estimated differently from one person to the next. Each of us is the Creator living in the illusion of separation and imperfection and we have leaed over the millennia to limit ourselves and our powers to something less than the creators just to prove the point.

"If we lived in a perfect world," is a very limiting statement, it denies our perfection and guarantees limited chances to be perfect. For thousands of years humanity has shown that it can overcome any limitations, still he/she is afraid to call himself the power that he seeks. Humankind explores its own small world hoping to find the secrets or purpose for his life, yet he already has the information available to him. Man looks outward and calls upon the creator to give him the information and yet he does not receive it, because he already has it. Secretly humanity cannot bring itself to call himself God and we are taught that it is blasphemy to do so and punishable.

Mankind slowly continues along his evolutionary path trying to trick himself into believing that he is not God, limiting his powers to a human level and denying access to even more.

We are creating all the circumstances of our lives, and no one outside of ourselves is doing it. We cannot have a perfect world because we are creating less. We cannot have a 100% closing rate because we are just not that good.

It takes the same mental energy to create a 40% closing rate, the thought process is the same. It takes exactly the same mental energy and thought process to create a perfect world as it takes to create a less perfect world.

It takes the same mental process to create perfect health as it does to create illness and accidents.

When we say we cannot fly, we create that truth. When we say we cannot sail around the world, lest we fall off, we create that truth. When we say we cannot cure terminal illness that becomes our new belief system and that is the reality that we experience. Knowing does not require faith, trust or hope and knowing does not leave room for doubt.

It is possible to close 100% each and every sale. It is also possible to acknowledge the perfect world that we already live in and we will experience perfection.

Humanity has the connection to ultimate power and has the ability within him/herself to us it, but he simply does not know it. You cannot use what you know you do not have. You cannot have what is not yours and you never can until you can declare that it is already yours. If you are willing to settle for less, less is what you will always experience and you cannot have it all until you declare that it is all yours. Your whole life works that way, that is why you are experiencing it that way, and if you believe and say that you can't have it all, of course you are correct.

My boss was correct in his belief and that is the real beauty of all that we experience, we can never not be correct because we are the ones creating our own circumstances. If you have never seen anyone fly before, does it mean that it is not possible or that you just have never seen anyone fly before? If you have never heard of someone growing a new leg, is it because you just have not heard about it or does it mean that it is not possible. Because the world is not perfect does it mean that it cannot be or is it just what you belief?

If after reading this, you think I am nuts, you would be correct, if you think that there may be something to it all, you are also correct and if you think that it can be anyway you desire, bingo, now you got it.

Roy E. Klienwachter is a resident of British Columbia, Canada. A student of NLP, ordained minister, New Age Light Worker and Teacher. Roy has written and published five books on New Age wisdom. Roy's books are thought provoking and designed to empower you to take responsibility for your life and what you create. His books and articles are written in the simplicity and eloquence of Zen wisdom.

You may not always agree with what he has to say. You will always come away with a new perspective and your thinking will never be the same.

Roy's style is honest and comes straight from the heart without all the metaphorical mumble jumble and BS.

Visit Roy at: http://www.klienwachter.com

Magic on the New Jersey Turnpike

Of all the places to find magic, who would have thought it would be in the Garden State?

We were driving home from a visit with family and friends in New Jersey...an uneventful trip. Those of you who live in the area know that sometimes the best you can hope for is an uneventful trip.

But this drive back to Connecticut was cruising right along. No fighting in the backseat, no spilling of beverages...all was right with the world. As we came up to one of the toll booths, I looked around to pick my lane.

This is one of the challenges of any trip - find the lane with the least amount of traffic that will get you through the fastest.

I took a look at the exact change lanes, since I still had some left over from the weekend. These are the lanes that would usually move the fastest. All of them had at least a four car wait.

Then I took a look at the line for the cash only, no exact change lane. This is normally the slowest moving line, the one with drivers fumbling around for their money, asking for receipts, toll collectors who may or may not be in a good mood that day.

On this day, there was no line. I noticed it just in time, cruised right up to that lane, handed off my 35 cents and sailed off to New York!

Magic.

Sure, it was no big deal. Saved myself a few seconds in line. Didn't change the world.

But what would happen if you were willing to take a look at the different parts of your life in a new way?

For example, what if you needed to find a way to supplement your child's education? Most people think about extra help sessions, tutors, home study courses, the usual stuff.

What if you had a DYNAMIC lesson for your young man or woman that he or she could incorporate into their everyday lives - something that could make a huge difference for them?

What if you were looking for a way to pay for your child's college education? Most people think about second jobs, parent loans, the usual ways of doing things.

What if the answer is RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU, and you just need to OPEN YOUR EYES AND SEE IT?

A few years ago my wife and I opened up our eyes and saw things that most people will never see until it's already past them. Unlike the toll lane, our world DID change, and we created magic.

Keep your eyes, ears, mind and heart open. You never know where you'll find your own personal magic!

Larry Hochman, "The Guidance Guy" is a inteationally read advice columnist and one of the Inteet's leading authorities on education, college admissions and successful parenting. Have a question on education or college? Visit the Guidance Guy at http://TheGuidanceGuy.com

Dare To Be Prosperous

Are you having a problem with money? Do you feel as though you never have enough no matter how hard you try?

If you want to experience abundance instead of scarcity, you may need to overcome unconscious fears of prosperity.

In the course of counseling many people, I have discovered numerous reasons why we struggle with money. I have also developed a process to help people overcome their money issues so that they can allow prosperity into their lives. For example, Joan, a fifty-year-old real estate agent, had eaed a large sum of money and managed to lose it all.

I have a favorite saying, "Close your eyes and see clearly." So I said, "Joan, close your eyes and see the word 'Money' written in the sky. What size are the letters?" She replied, "They are very small. I can hardly see them."

Then I suggested to Joan that she say the words, "Money, you mean to me. . ." and finish the sentence. She repeated, "Money, you mean evil to me."

I then said, "Joan, go back to the time you decided that." Joan recalled a scene when she was seven years old. She was sitting in church with her family and the priest was vehemently saying, "Money is evil! Rich people are evil!" Joan was very surprised to hear what was buried in her unconscious. She realized that she had made a decision from that childhood experience never to be rich. Joan didn't want to be evil. She began to understand why she had lost all her money.

In order to help her let go of that fear, I asked Joan if she was willing to create a new positive scene so that she could make a new positive decision about money. Joan said she was. So she visualized her priest saying, "Money is a wonderful tool. It is another way you can give and receive love and caring. You can be rich and be a very good person. Prosperity is your birthright." At that point, Joan spontaneously took a deep breath of relief as she released her negative association with money.

Another example of negative beliefs that cause us to struggle with money, I will explain with the story of Bill, a twenty-seven-year-old computer salesman. Bill came to me feeling very depressed, and afraid that he was going to be fired from his job. When Bill saw the word "Money" written in the sky, the letters were very large. He associated money with responsibility.

Bill didn't like responsibility; in fact, he admitted that he was afraid of it. When I asked Bill to go back to the time he had made that negative association with money, he visualized his dad. As Bill was growing up, he noticed that his dad was always worrying about what he was going to do with his abundance. From the time he was a young boy, Bill often heard the words, "Son, you have to be very responsible with your money. Money doesn't grow on trees. You have to work very hard to ea a buck!"

Recalling his experiences with his dad, Bill realized that he had made the negative decisions: "Money is scarce; money isn't supposed to be enjoyed; it's a big responsibility; life is a struggle." These unconscious fears made Bill depressed. He now understood why he was enjoying his work for the first two years but then his childhood decisions began to haunt him and he was miserable.

To help Bill overcome his money issues, I guided him to visualize his dad in front of him and to say, "Dad, I love you, and I accept that the way you dealt with your money was your choice. Now I am an adult, and I have the freedom to do it my way. I choose to believe in the abundance of money and to enjoy it. When I feel it is becoming too much of a responsibility for me to handle, I will hire a professional to help me."

Then I encouraged Bill to visualize himself at the office filled with energy and excitement, and receiving a high salary. He imagined himself enjoying his abundance and working with a financial planner.

I have found that what you visualize is what you allow to happen in your life. Once Bill released his fears of prosperity, and visualized his future, he was able to overcome his depression and succeed in his career.

If you are ready to resolve your money issues, then tu inward and explore your blocks to money so that you can dare to be prosperous. You have the power to have what you desire, and you deserve it all. Go for it!

©1997 by Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, Marriage, Family, Therapist, speaker, and author - http://www.helenerothschild.com

(Excerpt from the booklet, e-book, and tape, "Dare to Be Prosperous") By Helene Rothschild

HELENE ROTHSCHILD, MS, MA, MFT is a Marriage, Family Therapist, intuitive counselor, author, teacher, workshop facilitator, and speaker. She developed her own unique process, HART: Holistic and Rapid Transformation, which goes right to the core. Helene offers empowering telephone, inteet, and in-person healing sessions for all issues including: healing your body, relationships, career, prosperity, weight loss and parenting. She also teaches HART classes and independent studies. She is the author of Personal Success ~ an interactive online self-help program, many articles (free articles) and over 85 inspirational and self-help books, booklets, e-books, tapes, posters, and cards--close to a million have been sold worldwide.

She has appeared numerous times in the media (including inteational CNN), and hosted her own local radio and television shows.

1-888-639-6390
http://www.lovetopeace.com
helene@lovetopeace.com

Don t Seek Success Seek Self Actualization

"You make a living by what you get.
You make a life by what you give."

So said Winston Churchill. Cooperation and giving is better for you than competition and taking.

Competitors do not see it this way. To them, making money is an overriding goal so they and their families can live in "style." In the name of money they run in the rat race. When they win and become CEO rats, they wonder why they are depressed and unhappy with their lives.

The reason is simple. They do not have a larger purpose. There is no meaning in the work they do. They are not being helpful to people. They are not givers, but takers. They are not cooperators but competitors.

Cooperators have a vision to serve other people. If they help others by doing what they love to do they eventually reach self-actualization.

Self-actualization is the highest need in Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs:

• PHYSIOLOGICAL - Basic living needs, such as food, water, oxygen and sex

• SAFETY - Once physiological needs are satisfied, you need to have a home and other forms of security

• BELONGING - So far you have taken care of yourself. Once you do this, you look to make friends, find someone to love and in general feel part of a community

• SELF-ESTEEM - You need self-confidence, to be appreciated for what you are and be treated with dignity

• SELF-ACTUALIZATION - This is the highest level. Once your basic needs are supplied, you seek ways to reach your highest potential

Maslow also said:

"Ours is a money and power society, and so long as it is, it is thereby insecure."

Yet most people chase money so they may be called a success. Success, what would you do to achieve it? What would you give up in order to win? Would you do what you hate in order to make millions of dollars? Would you slavishly follow rules laid down by others in order to ingratiate yourself with them and thereby get "promoted"?

Do you want to live in the fast lane? According to John Jensen there is one thing wrong about it:

"The trouble with life in the fast lane is that you get to the other end in an awful hurry."

Competing wildly to make piles of money so that you would be recognized as a success, while all your personal relationships fall apart, seems to be the goal of many. Does it make sense?

You can achieve the real thing, self-actualization, by seeking ways to help other people in your area of expertise while pursuing what you love to do. Pursuing what you love to do beats competing for success. Instead of working hard, you do not work at all. Doing what you enjoy can not be called work. Instead of sacrificing your body, mind and spirit in the interest of making a buck, you do as you wish. Mark Albion thinks it is a shame to sacrifice this way. He says:

"Do what you love. Whether or not money follows is not vital. What's vital is that you won't be wasting your life."

Instead of being rewarded by others, reward yourself. The great dancer, Baryshnikov, got it right when he said:

"I do not try to dance better than anyone else.
I only try to dance better than myself."

Instead of traveling in the fast lane, travel in your own private lane.

Self-actualization brings people contentment and happiness. Self-actualization comes easily to cooperators and with difficulty to competitors.

Cooperators may affect not only their own lives and the lives of their family members, they have an impact on the world. Yes, they do. Most of us are skeptical about this because we feel helpless compared to the great leaders and shakers of the world. But Margaret Mead cheers us on:

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed it is the only thing that ever has."

Be a cooperator. Do what you love. Serve others. Reach self-actualization. Make life better for you as well as for the world.

About The Author

Paul Siegel is the author of "WE DON'T AGREE, BUT... How to Live in an Age of Terrorism," from which the above article is adapted. The book may be obtained from Amazon.com for $17.95. The article may be used freely, provided the author and the book source are acknowledged. The author is also called Paul "the soaring" Siegel because of his performance on the platform.

Finding Your Authentic Swing

The movie, "The Legend of Bagger Vance," is a mythological story about World War I veteran Rannulph Junuh, played by Matt Damon, and his unlikely spiritual guide, Bagger Vance, played by Will Smith. In 1916 Savannah, Georgia, Junuh has the world at his fingertips as a top young golfer, in love with the beautiful and wealthy Adele (played by Charlize Theron). But, seeking glory on the battlefields of World War I, Junuh interrupts his golf career and enlists in the army. However, the ravages of war sink him into a depression, and he spus Adele and everyone else when he finally retus home.

Fast forward to 1931 ~ Savannah has been devastated by the Depression, and the golf resort Adele's father built has no business. Faced with bankruptcy, she plans a golf touament between the best golfers of the day ~ Bobby Jones and Walter Hagen ~ but the town cronies want someone to represent Savannah in the match.

At a town meeting, a ten-year-old boy who has idolized Junuh for years, suggests that his hero should play in the touament. Only trouble is, the golden boy has lost his swing and doesn't seem too interested in finding it. He spends his nights playing cards and drinking, and his days sleeping off the previous evening. Junuh has lost more than his swing ~ he has lost his way.

Enter Bagger Vance, who appears out of nowhere, volunteering to be Junuh's caddy in the touament. At the heart of the movie, Bagger tells Junuh, "Inside each and every one of us is our one true authentic swing. Something we was bo with. Something that's ours and ours alone. Something that can't be leaed. . . . Something that's got to be remembered."

I am struck by the notion of each of us having one true authentic swing, as Bagger puts it. Although I am not a golfer, the metaphor of a "swing" works for me in terms of finding our authentic self, our "calling," our special place in the world that no one else can fill at a particular time and place.

Finding our authentic swing can have several meanings ~ it can be as expansive as finding our "niche" in the world, finding that one thing we are meant to do in terms of vocation, or in terms of a once-in-a-lifetime achievement. It can mean doing something we can't help doing ~ the something that, no matter how much we might try to avoid, we absolutely HAVE to do. Or it may mean being true to oneself at a particular moment in time, and as such, we may not have only one authentic swing, but several to play through over a lifetime.

I am also compelled by the golf swing metaphor because, even in my limited experience with golf, it is obvious that those who have found theirs seem to execute it in a seemingly effortless manner. When a golfer is "in the groove," their swing looks natural, unforced, loose, and easy. It feels right, and even before a golfer strikes the ball they know they've hit a winner just by the feel of the swing. And when a golfer hasn't found his or swing, it feels and looks forced and awkward ~ and the golfer knows even before they've hit the ball that it will slice into the rough or the sand.

So how do we find our authentic swing, our true self? Well first of all I should clarify that I'm not sure we have only one authentic swing per lifetime. During our life jouey we experience several incaations of self as we travel, and thus may have an authentic swing for one time period that changes around the next bend in the road. So perhaps finding our authentic self is about maintaining our authenticity, and being true to ourselves at each particular moment in time.

But how do we know when we've "found it?" Well that probably depends on the person and the situation involved. In my experience, however, there are several key factors. One would be the "feel" of the swing - in other words, does it feel right, are we "in the groove," and do we know before we even hit the ball that it will land just where we want it to?

Another clue in my experience has been the inherent affirmation within myself, or from others, that what I am doing is the right thing at the right time. And the final clue, and the one I continue to be least comfortable with, involves the basic fact that more times than not, being true to my authentic self involves, at the very least, change, and at the very most, risk to the status quo of my jouey thus far.

A great Sufi seer once noted: " What you must do for yourself ~ make sure you do it." The aspiration to become our authentic self and all we are meant to be is often spurred onward by the support of others who believe in us, or by buing bushes ~ but ultimately we are spurred by our own soul. Sometimes it takes a long time to hear the great chiming within. And even longer to stir up the courage to pay attention to it once we've heard it. Because often, when we find and follow through with our authentic swing, there is risk involved. And still, even in the face of the possible risk, there is a sense within us that we MUST do this thing.

It is said that before the great Hassidic leader, Zusia, died, he came to his followers, eyes were red with tears, face was pale with fear. "Zusia, what's the matter? You look frightened!"

He answered, "The other day, I had a vision. In it, I leaed the question that the angels will one day ask me about my life."

The followers were puzzled. "Zusia, you are pious. You are scholarly and humble. You have helped so many of us. What question about your life could be so terrifying that you would be frightened to answer it?"

Zusia tued his gaze to heaven. "I have leaed that the angels will not ask me, 'Why weren't you a Moses, leading your people out of slavery? And I have leaed," Zusia sighed, "that the angels will not ask me, 'Why weren't you a Joshua, leading your people into the promised land?'"

One of his followers approached Zusia and placed his hands on Zusia's shoulders. Looking him in the eyes, the follower demanded, "But what will they ask you?"

"They will say to me, 'Zusia, why weren't you Zusia?'"

Susan Ryder is not a golfer, but she's working to find and improve her authentic swing. She's also an author on http://www.Writing.Com/ - which is a site for Creative Writing.